Liz Logan

SPACE_2

Once upon a space, there was a star. A star whose trajectory no scientist (not even Mordin Solus) could chart. Hitting asteroid after asteroid, space garbage after space garbage, its bright plasma and ice surface began to crack. During this Great Krakening, the star began to hurl itself towards Earth.

After melting away most of its surface upon entry into Earth’s atmosphere, the star, now a space rock (because I must use the word space as frequently as possible), fell onto an unsuspecting couples’ porch. Kit and Dan of the Mulkerins weren’t quite sure what to make of this space present. They hauled the rock inside after Kit decided it would make the perfect perch for her lizard, Fin. Weeks passed before the rock began to rumble. Suddenly, the rock cracked down the middle, and out popped a tall woman who had a clearly confused facial expression. Kit approached and asked, “What is your name? Where are you from?”

“Space,” said the woman.

“Okay… That’s fairly obvious… But your name?”

“SPACE!”

“Okay, I give up… My lizard really likes you, so let’s call you Liz!”

Liz, not liking anything but the word space, reached out to claw herself out of her rock egg in anger, and set her first foot on not space.

Dan, seeing the obvious resemblance to a certain famous comic character (and because Dan is OBSESSED with comics) said, “Well, she needs a last name to blend in with society. How about Wolverine?”

Kit answered, “Dan… No… Let’s instead go with Logan.”

“Agreed, though now that I think of it I don’t know if blending in is really an option for her.”

After many years of tutoring and exposure to pop culture, Kit and Dan decided they needed some more help. They recruited Miles Schneiderman, Colin Mulkerin, and MeganBob to aid them. Though space woman could only say “space,” “ice,” and “DOOOOOOOM” (thanks to Miles) for awhile, she began to form semi-coherent thoughts and the ability to speak conversationally. Though they never got her past the bullshit phase, the merry band of friends said “good enough,” and thus the enigma known as Liz Logan was born.

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