One of the dangers of running a tournament episode or arc is the potential to get really repetitive after a while—even though the combatants change from round to round, often times the environment will remain the same. Furthermore, all of the fights are ostensibly fought for the same goal: becoming the ultimate victors of the tournament. As such, I wanted to make sure to inject some opportunities for conflict outside of the tournament into the Nexus City arc, hence me sprinkling in some plot threads involving Sombra ticking off people on the League’s behalf.
This episode ended up starting with a fight, meaning we start with a large series of stat blocks:
Pistol: 10 damage
Pistol: 10 damage
Shotgun: 15 damage
Uzi: 15 damage
Battle Axe/Sword: Str+10 damage
Assault Rifle: 20 damage
Health: 110 Karma: 16
Health: 140 Karma: 30
Health: 110 Karma: 40
Claw: +1 CS damage
Health: 120 Karma: 12
Spinning Piledriver: Only useable from a grapple, deals Am damage
Health: 160 Karma: 110
Mind Control: Am
Psycho Shot: Ex damage, instant Slam check
Psycho Field: Rm damage to one area
Skull Diver: +1 CS to regular damage
Psycho Crusher: Mn, only when down to 25% Health
Here, I gave the team the opportunity to mess around a bit before moving the plot forward…
Eventually, the night of the semifinals rolls around. The Balboa Memorial Arena is once again packed to capacity above, but where once the crowd was made up of people showing their support for one of dozens of groups, today, everyone has shown up in support for one of four remaining groups, and there are more than a few people wearing the maroon paisley of Team Ohana, or waving signs that say things like, “Marry me Dante!” or “Good love for Lovegood!” or “Mordin can examine me ANY time!”
The lights shift, the music plays, and the host of the Nexus Tournament takes the stage. “Hi, I’m Troy McClure! You might remember me from such TV specials as Me, Myself, and Isaac Newton, and Who Ordered the Ghost? We’re down to the wire here, folks: Modern-day gladiators have come and gone, risen and fallen, and now we’re down to the final four. So let’s not waste any more time and let’s meet our competitors! Please welcome to the stage: Team Soul Edge!”
The audience cheers and applauds as Astaroth, Cervantes, Lizardman, Raphael, Tira, and Voldo step out from the wings, each posing, sneering, or otherwise showing off as they make their way to one corner of the stage.
“And our next group: Team Power Rangers!”
A quintet of teenagers dressed in bright primary colors appear, cartwheeling and backflipping their way across the stage to the cheers of the audience. They eventually go to stand at another part of the stage, with Team Soul Edge glaring the whole time.
“And next up: Team Adventquisitions Zonecorporated!”
Six men dressed in medieval garb appear on stage: one is a human in armor, carrying several large weapons, a shield, and sporting an impressive set of sideburns; one is a bald human wearing a blue priestly tabard over metal armor; one is a thin human with black hair and a black soulpatch wearing a dark purple outfit and cape; one is a dwarf with a white beard, spectacles, and armor, with one arm made entirely out of living wood; there’s a second dwarf with a thick reddish-blonde beard, fur-trimmed armor, and a horned helmet with one broken horn; and a long-haired elf wearing light clothing, a cape, and a large floppy hat, casually carrying an umbrella over his shoulder. The six of them show off and pose to the cheers of the crowd (the human in purple at one point letting loose a small flock of doves from his sleeves) before they too take their place on stage.
“And last but not least: Team Ohana!”
Give the League a chance to make some crazy, flamboyant entrances.
“And I understand that someone has a very special message she’d like to give to Team Ohana in particular.”
A huge viewscreen at the back of the stage switches from showing the Nexus Tournament logo to showing the shining face of TV’s own Hannah Montana, who beams out at the audience.
“Hi, I’m Hannah Montana. You might remember me from such films as Hannah Montana in Queen Arthur’s Court, and Ocean’s 89.”
If Team Ohana did a good job protecting her during the fight in the penthouse, Hannah Montana will thank them for their hard work and help, talking about how brave and skilled they are, citing individual moments from the fight. If they did a bad job, she’ll be a lot more critical and openly hope that they don’t succeed, again citing particularly scarring moments from the fight.
The viewscreen goes back to displaying the Nexus Tournament logo, and Troy turns excitedly toward the crowd. “Alright, we won’t keep you in suspense any longer. Who’s ready for the next round of the Nexus Tournament?” A predictable cheer goes up from the audience.
“Alright, we’re going to get this started. Our first match of the evening will be…” As usual, images of the four teams onstage begin to flicker on the viewscreen, eventually stopping on… “Team Adventquisitions Zonecorporated! Versus … Team Ohana! And they will be fighting in…” Usually at this point the viewscreen would flash with numerous potential sites for the battle, but in this case the screen displays a jagged, flashing lightning bolt as a thunderclap plays through the arena’s speakers. “Oh, and that sound means that these two lucky teams have pulled… the LIGHTNING ROUND! This match won’t be decided by a fight to the death, but by a randomly-selected competition instead. And that competition will be…” Again, several images flash in rapid succession, before stopping on an image of a pair of electric guitars crossed at the neck. “A battle of the bands!”
That’s it for this adventure, but before I go, I thought I’d treat you all to some of the other movie title ideas I’d brainstormed for Troy McClure and Hannah Montana…
The Mystery of Al Capone’s Vaults 2: No, for Reals This Time
House Hunters 2: The Houses Strike Back
When Fungi Attack
Babies on Beaches
World’s Worst Bungalows
Hannah Montana: Queen of Neptune
Hannah Montana vs. Alien vs. Predator
Barbie’s Malibu Horse Adventures
Bloodoath Rising: Origins
The Expendables 16